Wherein Megan is Dragged on a Forced March to Zelienople

Zelienople, PA
Shortly after meeting Megan she impressed upon me the wonders of Amish baking. And also cider. She has a bit of a sweet tooth, you see. The pinnacle of Amish cuisine, Megan informed me, is the donut and the best place to acquire one is Sally’s Cider Press, not far past Zelienople.  Unfortunately for Megan, Zelienople is well within biking distance and so I promised that I would get donuts with her so long as we rode our bikes.

Well a few months passed. I defended, and the leaves began their slow and beautiful downward spiral but we had yet to make good on our donut pact. Fortunately, the annual Zelienople fall festival happens in early October which is a great time of year for a ride through the Pennsylvania countryside.  So we packed our bags with snacks and tools and set off!  After getting us lost for a few miles we arrived at 3 and began the gorging process.  Spinach and Feta pies. Cider. Honey. Pumpkin Funnel Cake.  All the staples of Fall Festivals were consumed indiscriminately. But, sadly, we had failed to find our white whale and were prepared to return to port empty handed.   Megan and I decided that we couldn’t possibly tackle another 30-ish miles on erol and chip roads so drastically under-caffeinated and so we set out for coffees.

Were it not for our (mostly her) addiction to liquid amphetamines we would have missed them, sizzling in all their glory, the donuts of legend. And lo did we wait for damn near an hour to obtain these doughs fried in what we blithely assumed was peanut oil.  (I’ve been a better vegetarian than in the months past.)

Stuffed with simple carbohydrates we sprinted from Zelienople back to Lville in hopes of beating the sunset and surviving. We didn’t quite make it to Millvale before it was pitch black, but no one died and thus it was a mostly-almost well implemented trip.

6:15 AM EDT
October 12, 2015

12:15 PM EDT
October 12, 2015

6:15 PM EDT
October 12, 2015


Low: 44°F, High: 71°F
Wind Speed
Avg. 5 mph 187° Max 17 mph
Avg. Visibility
10 miles

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